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The Epstein Files

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The government passed the Epstein Transparency Act to make you feel like you have power. Then Trump's DOJ broke that law to remind you that you don’t. Only 50% of the files have been released and there's nothing you can do about it. Case closed.

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Political satire coloring page showing corruption in justice system

This six page collection celebrates the rich guy tradition of never losing. Relax as you journey through sealed files, missing evidence, and a corrupt justice system! 

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Preview graphic for "Page 4: Above The Law." The coloring page shows a Trump-like figure handing a folder to a woman at a desk labeled "$cam Blondi." A seal behind her features a chicken holding money and reads "Department of Corruption - Above The Law." The descriptive text reads: "Corruption takes a village, so his colleague $cam Blondi does her part over at the Department of Corruption, meticulously redacting the flight logs until the only thing legible is the word 'suicide.'"
Preview graphic for "Page 5: Burn The Evidence." The coloring page depicts the three main characters cheering as they burn documents labeled "Epstein Files" in a metal trash can. The background is a painted fire texture. The descriptive text reads: "Once all the documents are properly filed into oblivion, the team gathers around a fire that's burning the only list of names that could actually drain the swamp."

Page 1
The Mile High Immunity Club!

Our story begins with a group of rich and powerful men sharing a laugh and a drink on a private jet. They're heading to a tropical island where the age of consent is for poor people. What a fun adventure!

Preview graphic for "Page 1: The Mile High Immunity Club." The image features a coloring page of four men in suits laughing and drinking inside a private jet, with a monitor in the background displaying "Going to Epstein Island." The descriptive text reads: "Our story begins with a group of rich and powerful men sharing a laugh and a drink on a private jet. They're heading to a tropical island where the age of consent is for poor people." The background is a blue painted sky texture.
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Page 2
the witness removal program!

A stack of cash buys the premium "Oopsies, We Had Technical Difficulties" prison package. It includes cameras malfunctioning and security guards "napping" while the problem fixes itself. Modern technology is so unreliable, isn't it?

Preview graphic for "Page 2: The Witness Removal Program." The coloring page depicts a jail cell scene where a Trump-like figure hands a rope and cash to a prison guard outside a cell labeled "#220 J. Epstein." A seal on the wall features a rat and reads "Bureau of Corruption - Quid Pro Quo." The descriptive text reads: "A stack of cash buys the premium 'Oopsies, We Had Technical Difficulties' prison package. It includes cameras malfunctioning and security guards 'napping' while the problem fixes itself."
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Page 3
Just Shred It!

The cleanup starts when the paperwork reaches Trash Patel for proper archiving. The paper shredder goes "brrr" and the felonies go away. His boss hands him a stack of cash for being such a good boy. Who says public service doesn't pay?

Preview graphic for "Page 3: Just Shred It." The coloring page shows an office scene where a Trump-like figure hands cash to a man sitting at a desk labeled "Trash Patel." The man is shredding documents labeled "Epstein Files." A wall seal depicts a vulture and reads "Federal Bureau of Corruption." The descriptive text reads: "The cleanup starts when the paperwork reaches Trash Patel for proper archiving. The paper shredder goes 'brrr' and the felonies go away. His boss hands him a stack of cash for being a good boy."
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Page 4
Above the Law!

Corruption takes a village, so his colleague $cam Blondi does her part over at the Department of Corruption, meticulously redacting the flight logs until the only thing legible is the word "suicide." Teamwork makes the dream work!

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Page 5
Burn the Evidence!

Once all the documents are properly filed into oblivion, the team gathers around a fire that's burning the only list of names that could actually drain the swamp. S'mores, anyone?

Page 6
Nothing to See Here, Folks!

This brings us to the grand finale where we learn that the American justice system isn't just blind. It's been blindfolded, gagged, and propped up on a mountain of cash. But don't worry, everything's fine! The system works perfectly. *nervous laughter*

This brings us to the grand finale where we learn that the American justice system isn't just blind. It's been blindfolded, gagged, and propped up on a mountain of cash. But don't worry, everything's fine! The system works perfectly. *nervous laughter*
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Instant Download PDF

No shipping, no waiting. Just download and start coloring right away.

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6 coloring pages

You get six 8.5 x 11 inch coloring pages in one print-ready PDF.

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Print whenever and wherever you want. Mess up? Print another.

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