We built Color the News on the charred remains of the social contract. In a functional society, the people who ruin millions of lives are traditionally greeted with handcuffs and a cell. In our current reality, they are rewarded with Italian villas, lucrative book deals, and a glowing profile in Forbes magazine. We exist because the mechanisms of justice have effectively retired, leaving the rest of us to deal with the radioactive fallout.
 
Traditional shame has become a dead currency. We watched the architects of the 2008 crash walk away with bonuses while the global economy bled out. We see politicians treat bribery as a standard career milestone and corporate sociopaths poison our food and municipal water supplies with the casual indifference of a child stepping on an ant. Even the most horrific sex trafficking scandals, involving the world’s wealthiest predators, gets covered up by the most powerful government to ever exist. Since nothing will happen to them, we have pivoted to the only logical alternative: rendering them stationary on a standard sheet of paper.
 
Since we cannot rely on a jury of their peers to hold them accountable, we will make them sit still for a jury of your colored pencils. The medium of coloring is our chosen tool for channeling high-stakes existential dread into low-stakes creative output. We provide the only venue where you can legally scribble over the faces of those who profit from global ruin. We are under no illusions about the scale of this rebellion. We’re not saying coloring a dictator will undo genocide. But you know what definitely won't undo genocide? Not coloring a dictator.

There is a visceral, psychological satisfaction in the paper cage. For a few minutes, these monstrous entities are stripped of their private security details and offshore accounts. You can sharpen your pencil like a shiv and force a warlord to sit perfectly still while you decide exactly how pathetic they should look in neon pink. On this 8.5 x 11 inch stage, they are finally, blissfully powerless.
 
The modern consumer doesn’t have the patience for a slow-moving justice system or a 3-5 day shipping window. You want to color federal agents conducting warrantless raids right this second. Our instant PDF model serves that immediate emotional demand. It is the digital equivalent of a tactical strike on your own sanity.
 
We are aware of the irony inherent in profiting from the depiction of horrible people. To settle our accounts, we have structured Color the News as a funding mechanism for actual resistance. Our Coloring Club is a $5-a-month subscription that acts as a retainer for the people who actually fight back. We donate 10% of all membership fees directly to the American Civil Liberties Union (ACLU). The ACLU defends the Constitution, ensuring we maintain the legal right to mock the very monsters we put in our pages.
 
Color the News was created in the USA by an Army veteran. Consider this your final stamp of ironic patriotic duty: you are authorized to use these pages as a weapon of therapeutic dissent. The choice is yours. You can continue to watch the news in a state of paralyzed fury, or you can join the club and start coloring. We suggest you move quickly. The next billionaire is currently sipping Moet on a yacht that your tax breaks paid for, and he isn't going to color himself.