The Epstein Files Coloring Pages

⚡ Instant Download PDF - No shipping, no waiting. Just download.

🎨 6 Coloring Pages - You get six 8.5 x 11 inch coloring pages in one print-ready PDF.

🖨️ Print at Home - Print whenever and wherever you want. Mess up? Print another.

Welcome to the most relaxing way to stare directly at the American judicial system without screaming into a pillow. Download the coloring book that proves the bad guys always win in the end.

Page 1: The Mile High Immunity Club

Our story begins with a group of rich and powerful men sharing a laugh and a drink on a private jet. They're heading to a tropical island where the age of consent is for poor people.

Page 2: Witness Removal Program

A stack of cash buys the premium "Oopsies, We Had Technical Difficulties" package. It includes cameras malfunctioning and security guards napping while the problem fixes itself.

Page 3: Just Shred It

The cleanup starts when the paperwork reaches Trash Patel for proper archiving. The paper shredder goes "brrr" and the felonies go away. His boss hands him a stack of cash for being a good boy.

Page 4: Above the Law

Corruption takes a village, so his colleague $cam Blondi does her part over at the Department of Corruption, meticulously redacting the flight logs until the only thing legible is the word "suicide."

Page 5: Burn the Evidence

Once all the documents are properly filed into oblivion, the team gathers around a fire that's burning the only list of names that could actually drain the swamp.

Page 6: Nothing to See Here, Folks

This brings us to the grand finale where we learn that the American justice system isn't just blind—it's been blindfolded and propped up on a mountain of cash.